Bill Maher Unbaptizes Romney’s Father-in-Law

You may have heard last week that the Romney family did an extensive conversion job on the family of his future-wife, Ann Davies Romney, before they tied the knot. Her father, Roderick Davies, a Welsh immigrant, engineer, entrepreneur, and mayor of Bloomfield Hills, MI, was a staunch atheist who regarded organized religion as “hogwash” and insisted that his kids be raised without religion—which they were. Roderick was the only holdout in his family and eventually took his non-belief to the grave, but that did not stop the Romneys from baptizing him into the Mormon faith a year later.

Luckily for Roderick, Bill Maher had his magic wand and wizard’s hat handy to undo the spell cast by his in-laws. Last night on Real Time, Maher performed the first atheist unbaptism ceremony so that Mr. Davies could rest in interminable peace:

Apple Scotland: Having a wee bit of trouble

For all the amazing things Siri can do, it’s still limited by your ability to be understood. Unfortunately for Scots, they don’t have an app yet for mind reading or sign language.

Muppets Address Fox Business News’ Allegations of Communism

Recently, Fox Business Network’s Eric Bolling was incensed at how the muppets are brainwashing America’s youth with their liberal Hollywood agenda. Kermit and Miss Piggy responded at a press conference:

Samsung Galaxy Tab Alternative Commercial

Samsung has been doing a bang up job making fun of Apple lately, so maybe this parody was secretly leaked by some Apple fanboys. Who knows? There’s nothing like finding someone who believes their own hype, and taking them down a notch.

(Has NSFW language)

Counterstrike Map of The Office

Somebody with approximately 500 hours of free programming time on their hands made this masterpiece. Bet you didn’t realize you knew the blueprint of a tv show office so well:

It may or may not be consistent with this alleged floorplan for the Dunder Mifflin office. (click for full size)
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Dancing Zebra

If you know your memes, this is as good finding Rosebud and the Kaiser Soze together:

President Obama Sings Al Green

Who knew the President could sing? He’s no Al Green, but he did hold a few notes of Let’s Stay Together. Eat your hearts out, Herman Cain and Vladimir Putin:

Almost Killed My Family Making Breakfast

You would think the store labels could use different colors for stuff you eat and stuff you clean your house with, but that’s too much like smart.

Look At Me Now: With Literal Visual Aids

So, this youtube channel has the visual breakdowns for all the lyrics you’ve been wondering about, courtesy of the finest MS Paint graphic design artistry. Maybe this could be Rosetta Stone’s newest teaching tool. Or not.

C-SPAN Caller Wants to Know About Mitt Romney’s Big Penis

C-SPAN is such a good troll target that I’m surprised this doesn’t happen more often. As far as live stunts go, it still falls far short of the jilted lover who gives a speech about his ex-girlfriend while sitting next to her.

Fotoshop by Adobé: Because Who Needs the Real Thing

Because it works better than makeup, that’s why. Now if only they could invent this so she still looks like that when I wake up next to her.

Bob Hawke, Former PM of Australia, Drains a Beer in Seconds

This guy, Bob Hawke, former PM of Australia, was also a Rhodes Scholar who allegedly set some sort of drinking record while at Oxford back in his prime. Maybe Clinton is in the books for bedding the most Rhodes coeds, but you’ll never see him, Carter, or the Bushes handle a beer like this:

Yoda has Terrible Gas

This is what Star Wars is missing: fart jokes. I didn’t realize Yoda had these digestive problems.